In one of his best-known standup routines, British actor and comedian Eddie Izzard illustrates the importance of non-verbal communication with commentary about John F. Kennedy’s 1962 speech in Berlin, in which Kennedy famously declared “Ich bin ein Berliner.” Izzard’s punchline says Kennedy’s appearance and tone were so charismatic the crowd didn’t care that Kennedy’s words translate to “I am a donut.”
While Izzard’s punchline isn’t strictly accurate, it is accurate to say a high percentage—possibly more than 90%—of human communication lies in body language, tone, and other unspoken cues. As more of our work communications go electronic, it’s helpful to take a moment to consider how we’re coming across in face-to-face moments.
The Balancing Act
The fundamentals of good non-verbal presentation are well-known: make eye contact and smile. Even more essential than these basics is self-awareness. Eye contact establishes trust and interest, but too much can come across as aggressive. Smiling follows similar rules. A genuine smile conveys positivity and approachability, but too much smiling can appear insincere at best and creepy at worst.
Awareness of your audience or conversational partners and their responses, along with awareness of your own behaviors, will allow you to moderate these and other non-verbal communication cues for maximum effect. While smiling and eye contact are essential to good communication in Western culture, it is worth noting some other cultures regard these gestures as disrespectful, no matter how they’re moderated.
Body Language
Another basic of effective non-verbal communication is good posture. Like much of the common advice about non-verbal communication, posture is subject to self-awareness and moderation. Obviously slouching is out, as it conveys disinterest or insecurity. At the same time, too-rigid posture can seem threatening.
Your whole body should convey interest in the people you’re speaking with. In a one-on-one or small group situation, pay attention to your feet. If your torso is facing your audience but your feet are pointing elsewhere, they will pick up on it. If only subconsciously, they will know you’re not fully attentive to what you’re saying to them or what they’re saying to you, which will make a subtly negative impression.
Personal space norms, like eye contact and expressions, can vary widely based on cultural background as well an individual preference, which makes space a tricky issue. Too much distance between yourself and your audience can indicate disinterest, but too much can create extreme discomfort. A good guideline is to give your audience about four feet of space and let them take the lead from there—within the bounds of what makes you comfortable as well.
Hand gestures also convey enthusiasm while adding interest to a conversation or presentation. Varied gestures appear more natural (and genuine) than a practiced set of mannerisms, and sufficiently detailed and specific gestures can even underline the meaning of what you’re saying. Subtle mirroring of your listeners’ gestures may also contribute to a subconscious bond between you. Again, moderation is key. Too many gestures may be off-putting, though, so awareness of the magnitude of your hand movements and your listeners’ responses will optimize the gestures’ effects.
Delivery
Delivery lies in the gray area between the verbal and the non-verbal parts of communication, because it’s not about the content of what you say but how you say it. Tone is a crucial part of delivery, and you want to be sure your tone matches the content of what you’re saying. If you’re a typically loud speaker, you can soften your voice to emphasize important information, or go louder for emphasis if you’re typically a softer speaker.
Speed of delivery also makes a difference for understanding. Optimal human processing for spoken language is about 170-190 words per minute. Any more than that and the listener is overwhelmed, less and the listener zones out. We tend to speak more rapidly when we’re enthused, so it’s important to slow down. As always, monitor your speech and your listener or listeners to make sure they’re with you.